My Dad is HILARIOUS

I don't know what has gotten into my Dad lately, but he's cracking me up. Two e-mails today:

1. In response to Yankees Wild Card Gear:

WHY would anyone want to buy this stuff (see below)? I mean, who would want to go around “bragging” about backing into the post-season as the Wild Card team? If you’re the Orioles, OK. But when you’re the defending WS champs? C’mon.



Maybe after we get beaten by the Twins in round 1, they’ll sell t-shirts that say “ALDS Losers.” Now THERE’S something to be proud of!



Yanks have no spirit this year. They look tired and listless and bored, and they’re just going through the motions. And that’s Girardi’s fault. Dump him.



Anyway, these shirts and caps are just silly and stupid.



2. "If i had a facebook and one of those greeting messages ... . . . today’s would say: “It’s Monday. It’s raining. My car is in the shop. The Yankees lost. Penn State lost. The Eagles lost. Please seek pleasant conversation elsewhere.”"


HAHAHAHAHA


~Drea

Killer Aquarium

I was at an aquarium, maybe ATL, maybe not. And all these evil creatures were trying to kill me and this guy, the aquarium man, was teaching me how to kill them
they all had like, one weak spot that I would have to hit, like in a video game. But they all had faces of people I knew ... well in my dream I knew, but in real life I have no idea who they were. But anyway, I had just killed the last one which was an eel. And to kill it I had to squeeze its neck really hard and not get bit, it was scary! Then I was getting carried out of the aquarium and I was weak so the dude carried me and on my way out a killer spider fell one me, and I didn't know what to do. And i asked the aquarium guy and he was like, I can't help you, I don't know how to kill it either. The end.
and then Kyle woke me up

You're Moving?

I had a dream, that I my friend was moving, but he wouldn't tell me where. And we were in like, Doylestown or something, and EVERYONE else knew and him and his mom (who I didn't know, but in my dream we were BFF) would NOT tell me where he was moving too. He just kept saying, its for the best. I"m like, why won't you tell me? He said: if you ever want to see me again, you better move too ...

That was a short one.

Drea

This blog should be called, Drea's weird dreams

So i had a dream that one of my friends from work was a TV Marketing person. He had a home studio and just a big chair that he sat in and he sold jingles. Not CD's of jingles, just jingles. Except, no one knew ANY of the jingles. Okay, so I go visit him at his new 'job' and these jingles kind of appear in mid air, and you can see the words and he sings along to them. And one comes up and he's goes, "Drea, you gotta buy this one because its the best cereal ever."

Me: What's it called?
Him: Gummy Cereal ...
Me: It's good?
Him: It's AWESOME!! It has a GREAT jingle
Me: But the cereal ..
Him: It looks like gummy bears, but it tastes like cereal. Like Cheerios ...

He is very serious about me purchasing this cereal, but I kindly tell him NO, sneak out of his 'studio' and then I wake up ...

Weird.

More weird dreams!!!

So the night before I had a dream that my dad insisted on having Christmas in May and I was really mad at him. So he decorated with all these little green candles. Then he wants to open presents. I refuse and I didn't buy any for anyone and he thought that was mean. Then John Falcone came over and he was talking to my Dad. Then I start talking to him in my living room and he starts crying and the whole time I'm just sucking on my thumb. Then I want to console him so I go to hold his hand and I held it with my slobbery hand-weird!

My dream last night: I'm at my next door neighbor's growing up telling them about the other dream I had and Erika told me I was crazy and then John was like you're so weird. And then I just appeared at my moms. It was me, Kyle, Andrea, my friend Joe and my friend Mike. We were being loud and crazy and I was nervous the whole time that we were gonna get in trouble. So then Mom came home. So Mike and Joe pretended to make pancakes, in my kitchen at like 7am. So the guys made breakfast and then we all got in the car because we were road tripping somewhere. Okay, so we are driving on 676 and it was when some new smart phone came out like a new nexus and I'm mad at people cause they were so loud last night so I'm all about how the phone sucks. So in my dream there was this big sky scraper building thing on 676. It was like floating and their were ads of people like kneeling on it so then one of the huge windows opens and it's a guy who worked on this new cell phone. So he stands up and shouts out the window: "We Did It!" and then he jumps out the window (with the cell phone) and lands on his face on the pavement right in front of us on 676. Cars are veering out of the way and then someone asked if they thought he was dead and I'm like DUH you retard. So then fast forward like 10 years. Kyle and I are at a bar, and we meet a kid-he's 26. We talk to him and it ends up he was driving next to us that day and he touched the guy who died with his two fingers and the guy was cold. WEIRD!!!

Not 1, but 2 weird dreams last night

1. Some crazy lady (short black hair, wearing this ugly burnt orange dress and sandals and had a beige colored purse that was gross) in Ambler was trying to shoot me. I was in a back parking lot, by myself in the dark but there were other people around . So she shot at one person and they died so we all kinda fell to the ground, but I didn't fall flat and I was near a light so you could see the shadow of my hair. I was kinda ducked behind a big navy blue GMC truck and I was scared that she would see me. So then I tried to move behind a wheel as she was getting into her car (while she was singing: "rain drops keep fallin' on my head" and swinging her purse), but she heard me and started shooting in my direction. Then she came really close, and then I woke up screaming.

So then I fell back asleep and had THIS dream/nightmare. This one isn't as detailed, but more weird:


2. I was at an audition to be an announcer for some comedy show (weird!) and the woman who owned the place kept telling me I was too quiet. (I mean, really?!?!?) I was SCREAMING and she was like, "No, way too quiet. Next please." I was soooo angry that I walked out of the audition and everyone came with me because they thought she was so ridiculous. It was sooo weird.

I think this one stems from my frustration at work.

The end.

Drea

How can I keep from singing?

And ... funny story. So you know how I'm ALWAYS singing, OK. So i guess I sing on the treadmill. I mean, I knew I did, but I don't realize that much. Anyway, Lidia (my gym friend) goes to me today: Drea, I hate to tell you, but you can't carry a tune for your life. So i start laughing, I'm like "I know, I just like to sing lalala." Then we are talking about the OLD Cinderella, you know the roger Hammerstein one, and she is saying she never saw it.

I'm like "OMG so you don't know the songs."
She goes, "sing me one."
I go, "OK but you know I'm not good."

So I sang her "10 minutes ago I met you ... and we murmured our how-do-you-do's..."
And she was like, "Damn girl, I take it all back, you CAN sing. And pretty darn well. WOW."


HAHAHA -- it made me gig. I guess when I'm out of breath on the treadmill I don't sound so angelic ...

So then she was asking if my mom could sing, I"m like "yes, and so can my siblings" She's like, "oh how many do you have?" I'm like "oh like 3 and my little sister sings AWESOME. She has a more powerful voice than me tho, its really cool." She's like, "well if she is half as good as you, you guys should quit your day jobs and go into business."

So i think that is what we should do. Any sponsors?

Drea